The air, this December harmattan morning, was tense. The 2 dozen intending {couples} had filed out in two rolls earlier than the altar within the commodious cathedral, besides one. Because the best-man to the one groom with out bride, yours sincerely discovered himself sharing himself between casting anxious gaze on the church’s door intermittently and calming the groom on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
Feigning ignorance of the conspicuous absence among the many events gathered earlier than him, the officiating priest continued the customary sermon espousing marital values. However as one minute adopted one other agitated minute, what the embarrassed groom and the best-man really started to listen to from the loudspeakers was mere sound of phrases, not their that means.
Then, visibly ruffled Segun Adeniyi, with the snow-white lace gloves now discarded in anger, instantly broke from the altar meeting and dashed out in a determined hope to seek out the lacking bride, whereas I trailed him in uneasy steps.
The unfolding suspense solely appeared so as to add to the surfeit of gut-wrenching dramas we had encountered within the countdown to the D-Day.
As an example, our similar, navy-blue fits weren’t delivered till the very eve of the marriage by the tailor launched to us by our then boss on the Sunday Harmony, Mr. Tunji Bello.
Now exterior the Winners Chapel this harmattan-scorched day, it was fairly a Herculean process for yours sincerely to calm Segun down as he saved muttering, “Why did Tosin select to shame me this manner?”
It wasn’t but the period of cellphones when communication was seamless and simple.
Not discovering solutions instantly, we quickly went again inside to rejoin others intending {couples}.
From distance, I might see beads of sweat cascading down the face of Mr. Segun Babatope in unspeakable unease among the many congregation within the in any other case well-aerated gallery.
His discomfiture must be understood. He had diligently fulfilled the responsibility of “Alarina” (Yoruba for cultural mediator) engaged in a tortuous “negotiations” with the bride’s dad to conform to the union.
All that was left was for the priest to formally say “I pronounce you husband and spouse” when, lo, the much-awaited bride barged in and ran to the altar, to a thunderous applause and laughter of all the church.
“Nicely,” continued the priest jocularly when silence returned, “It’s higher to be late than by no means.”
It later emerged that Tosin’s delay was not intentional. Their motorcade obtained trapped in a site visitors jam attributable to the month-to-month prayer staged by one other mega Pentecostal church elsewhere in Lagos. She needed to hop onto “Okada” to get to the church ultimately…
How time flies certainly! How ironic that, twenty-six years after that near-miss of December 1998, Tosin and Segun Adeniyi haven’t solely calcified into an impregnable union but in addition raised three lovable, well-behaved youngsters who’re doing very nicely in their very own particular person pursuit in life. The final being Korede (harbinger of excellent tidings), a stocky lad (whom I normally tease as “My dad is a journalist!”) education in Boston, United States.
How gladdening and really exceptional then that Tosin is coming into the fifth flooring (born April 12, 1974) not solely as an achieved skilled (stockbroker), but in addition a shinning mannequin of motherhood and virtuous spouse at an age when it’s more and more modern to commerce pristine household values away for the ephemerality of profession development or vice versa.
This exceptionalism might be attributed to Tosin’s unusual private qualities: humility, respect, honesty, contentment and forbearance. I make such categorical depositions as one who has recognized and been like brother to Segun for greater than thirty years together with when he first “toasted” Tosin as scholar at Lagos Poly.
The legislation of physics states that opposites appeal to. For Tosin and Segun, it’s undoubtedly a case of mutual reinforcement cast in shared deep dedication to Christian values like charity.
An expression of that’s the Not Forgotten Initiative (NFI), an NGO based and run by Tosin offering succor to the needy in Abuja over time.
He who finds a spouse, declares the holy Bible, has discovered a very good factor. Proficient singer Sonny Nneji provides, “She performs the concord to the sound you make” in his seminal “Oruka”. For greater than 1 / 4 of a century they’ve been married, not as soon as have I seen or heard Segun and Tosin engaged in any large combat. Apart from as soon as after I heard usually stressed Segun walked away from a scheduled household photograph shoot at dwelling as a result of it was taking reasonably too lengthy for Tosin to determine on her garments and make-up.
However after some time, Segun returned with a contrived frown. Solely a little bit joke “Oju to le ko le tan ina cigar” (fieriness of a countenance can by no means mild a cigarette) by Tosin and Segun burst into delirious laughter. Finish of quarrel.
Being married to journalism/author might be very difficult certainly. For the vocation is demanding and jealous, requiring an understanding partner. Tosin is Segun’s biggest cheer-leader. By means of the 90s and early 2000s, Segun and I had been like skilled Siamese twin. Proper from Harmony to ThisDay.
As deputy to him when editor, I recall Tosin by no means didn’t name on manufacturing nights. In such agonizing wee hours whereas nonetheless brainstorming for canopy story for the following version, Segun would hand the cellphone over to me to listen to Tosin consoling, “Epele. Gained ni esi nwa cowl.” (Sorry, he stated you of us are but to seek out appropriate cowl story to steer with).
However don’t be fooled by Tosin’s simple smiles or meek look. She may be very shrewd and relentless relating to enterprise. A lot that she might persuade a cynical Edo man like me to take an insurance coverage coverage at a time!
Segun is a person of excellent coronary heart, beneficiant to a fault and incapable of malice. Tosin needs to be the household accountant, to save lots of Segun from going bankrupt out of instinctive giving spirit. One among such “security mechanisms” is barring him from working web banking. In any other case, Segun can not say No to anybody who name him for the proverbial “pressing N2k”.
Her shrewdness served the household nicely at a time of nice want following the surprising loss of life of President Umar Yar’Adua in Might 2010. To take the job of Particular Adviser on Media to the President in 2007, the household bought their dwelling at Ajah, Lagos and relocated to Abuja. They moved into an official quarter, near Aso Rock.
It’s a measure of Segun’s contentment and aversion to crass materials acquisition that he by no means gave a thought to the concept of securing a private property in Abuja for the three years he labored for the President.
So, Yar’Adua’s sudden loss of life meant the household briefly confronted homelessness with the change of guard on the Presidency.
With eviction from the official quarters looming, Segun spent the following six months working round to boost cash to develop a parcel of land allotted to him at Asokoro lengthy earlier than he turned Particular Adviser. Tosin took cost on the building website every day and personally supervised the constructing from basis to the ending, getting concerned in negotiating the costs of supplies. Whereas Segun was on the street searching for cash.
On a jovial be aware, let it nonetheless be placed on document that it was not in all tasks Tosin succeeded. Laborious as she tried, her efforts to match-make this author and the best-lady after her personal wedding ceremony in 1998 failed after a yr of conspiracies and organized dates. Proper from the marriage reception held at Airport Resort, Ikeja, she was the primary to tease that her bosom buddy, a svelte magnificence, and I seemed match for one another. Apparently, she put comparable thought in her buddy’s head. A lot that we quickly discovered ourself calling one another and me visiting her in class at Lagos State College.
Nevertheless, following my failure to report a lot “progress” after a number of months, Segun quickly hatched one other plan, now at GSP parish of Redeemed Church in Lagos the place we each worshipped then. This time, Segun’s personal “mission” was one other smashing magnificence and church employee. Pleased with his “old fashioned” methodology, he resorted to the tactic of bombarding her with hyperlinks to my writings to which she, I used to be advised, had expressed nice admiration.
However after a number of months, it turned out one other failed mission. Possibly, simply perhaps my Edo testosterone was nonetheless far too stressed to yield to conjugal regimentation at 25.
Right here is wishing Tosin, the nice spouse, many joyful returns of the day!